


things i've never seen before behind bolted doors

by mercurialMalcontent



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Dysphoria, M/M, Oral Sex, Ouroboros Mix, Species Swap, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 22:10:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercurialMalcontent/pseuds/mercurialMalcontent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and Karkat have a little fight over who pushed the buttons that swapped their species, and it turns into extensive scientific experimentation of a different kind altogether.</p>
            </blockquote>





	things i've never seen before behind bolted doors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [negativecosine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/negativecosine/gifts).
  * Inspired by [i can ride my bike with no handlebars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/648192) by [negativecosine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/negativecosine/pseuds/negativecosine). 



The explosion of blame over who pushed what button and how you're both going to get out of this mess of course, of-fucking-course, devolves into a physical struggle, you and Karkat knocking into the common room furniture as you slap and pull and shove at each other.

It's good, in the way it's usually good that you're simultaneously furious and ashamed over, but it's weird, because Karkat still looks like himself with you-coloring, white hair and red eyes and angrily flushed cheeks. Fuck, he's _funny looking_ like this, enough so that you're almost able (despite his panting and the writhe of his body against yours) to convince yourself that you aren't turned on by him.

Almost, except he smells like sex -- no, like 'fuck me until my brains leak out of my ears', like something you thought was some dumb flowery literary bullshit but no, fuck no, you can smell it now and he smells like an invitation to all the things you've wanted to do to him for way too long. It distracts you enough Karkat is nearly able to knock you over. You recover and shove him, but he has his hands fisted in your shirt front, and you go with him in tripping into a wall.

You fall against him and whoa that is definitely a boner he just pressed against your hip. You pin his chest with yours and arch your hips experimentally, and he whines.

"Ahaha, _wow_ ," you laugh, and Karkat flushes even redder. "Hey Vantas, what do you say about some interspecies experimentation? For _science_."

Karkat grimaces a smile that's not any more threatening with human teeth than it was with his cute little pointy trollish ones. "How about you choke on my bulge."

"Sounds good to me," you say, and shove him sprawling onto the couch. He squawks and struggles as you follow and slide yourself down his body to get a good look at what's happening with his crotch. Karkat has a hard-on so raging you seriously wonder if he's going to rip clean through his jeans. The thought kind of makes your mouth water -- or maybe that's just his scent, god _damn_ , how did you _not smell him_ before?

(He had to have smelled you. He smelled you and didn't say anything. The thought gives your guts a nervous twist and makes things happen in your groin that you don't want to think about yet.)

You brush your cheek across the line of Karkat's dick and he makes an agonized noise, grabs you by the horns you'd forgotten you have, and _yanks_. For a second your world is pain-pleasure-pressure- _sex_ and your claws ( _claws_ for fuck's sake) scrabble against the couch before you find your words. "Fuck off with those, asshole," you snap, only for him to yank again. You bite back an embarrassing noise of your own and continue, "They're not a fucking steering wheel, this is not the Stridermobile, you _know_ what that feels like--"

He gets you by the base of your horns and yanks again. Between that and your faceful of jeans-covered dick your entire world is please-fuck-me-Karkat. It takes everything you have to keep talking because if you don't you are going to fucking embarrass yourself. "They're sensitive man, all over like some sort of hyper radio antenna, gonna pick up your signal from the other side of the universe. C'mon, you oughta know this, or maybe you wouldn't know, yours were too small to get a grip, weren't they, must be why you were always so fucking pissed off."

"Shut up," Karkat rasps, and yanks your hair instead.

"You little shit, you're going to give me a bald spot," you snarl instead of the sound you want to make, even as you claw at his jeans. He needs to have his pants off so you can taste him right fucking now, and apparently he has the same idea because he's scrabbling right along with you.

It's useless, he's useless, his hands are shaking so much they're more hinder than help. "You're gagging for it," you say as you smack his hands away and pull his jeans, crab-themed boxers and all, past his knees. You lick your lips and lean in but he squeaks and pulls you away by one of your horns. You snort and look up at him knowingly over the rims of your shades. "You're such a slut, Vantas, can't believe you lasted this long, fuck, I can _smell_ you, you know that?"

You didn't really need to ask, and the look on Karkat's face, rage-desperation-lust, confirms what you already knew. Fuck yes, he's _all_ yours now. You swipe your tongue up his cock and he makes this wrenching moan that goes straight to your crotch and yanks on your horns again, tries to yank you away, but fuck him, it's time to fucking _commit._ You want to taste him, to drink him down and utterly wreck him and have him _thanking_ you for it.

And it's not working, you're not used to your mouth being full of weaponized teeth and an impossibly long tongue. Frustration scrapes at you as Karkat blurts, panicky, "Strider, what are you even trying to--"

" _Fuck_ , these teeth," you growl, you honest to fucking god growl like an animal, and Karkat goes utterly still. You think you've scared him. You lick him not at all apologetically and he shivers, so you lick him more, god, you're treating his dick like a fast-melting ice cream in your favorite flavor, shit should be embarrassing as hell but you almost don't care.

Almost, and that little bit you do is slipping away by the moment as you lap at the head of his cock. Fuck, this is good, and it's even better when Karkat digs his fingers in to the base of your horns and _pulls_. You growl and he gasps a moan that would be dick-wrenching if you were sure you still had a dick wow okay not going there.

Where you are going is lifting your head and _looking_ at him, looking at what a sloppy mess he already is and god, you just want to eat him alive. His eyes widen and his cock twitches, and he looks so delicious and desperate you _laugh_. That earns you Karkat yanking on your horns again, this time with a purpose; in a heartbeat you have his legs around your head and a face full of his taint. He's sweaty as hell and the smell of him makes you ache inside. You want to _devour_ him.

You lick and suck and lick at him some more, matching with your tongue everything that felt good with your own tentative explorations with your own body. Karkat humps your face and you lick more, you thrust your tongue harder, growling with you much you want him, and he makes this amazing pornographic moan and pulls you tighter against him. He's practically smothering you with his balls and you. Do. Not. Care.

Karkat pulls you up soon enough, kind of dragging your mouth up to his cock. You don't have to look into his face to tell what he wants. Shit, you want it too, you're nearly drooling just thinking about it (from the mouth and elsewhere but nope, you're still not thinking about that). You lick him, getting him tensed up, before you figure it out and get the head of his cock in your mouth. Yeah, _fuck_ , that's it, that's good--

"Oh sweet almighty FUCK--!"

\-- that's more than good. You let him push into your mouth before you pull back, then slide back down. Karkat tenses, then goes slack as you do it again, moaning something about mother grub fucking drones on a culling fork as he lets you fill yourself with him. Fucking slut, he's perfect like this, sprawled there helpless and letting you take him apart with your mouth.

His hands gripping the bases of your horns takes you by surprise and sends a jolt of sensation from your scalp to your crotch, sending your possessive growl rumbling down into a groan. "Oh fuck oh _fuck_ oh _FUCK_ ," he yells, and thrusts his cock deep into your mouth.

Oh fuck is right. You gag a little and groan again and as tempting as it is to let him fuck your mouth (you're fucking _ashamed_ of that, who's the slut, here?), you don't. You swirl your tongue as you pull back and he goes still again, still but tense and babbling all kinds of incoherent nonsense that's nonetheless making you molten from your crotch up.

He's yours now, he's _yours,_ holding onto your horns for dear life as you work his cock over with your mouth. You're playing him like your fucking turntables, you sure as hell aren't gasping raggedly or moaning as much as you are growling, or pulling him against you, or letting your glasses slip down your face. You're in control, you _are_.

But when Karkat yanks you inward by your horns all at once you don't even try to stop him, even with a face full of his his pubes and a mouth full of his twitching cock and _oh fuck_ he's making the most dick wrenching noises you have _ever_ heard and you just, you just let him use you, let him pour himself down your throat.

You let him finish, just barely, before you shove his hands away and pull your mouth off of him. He makes this confused little sound and you have to fight not to huff in annoyance. "No need to start the parade right away, I'll give you an hour to get the marching band set up," you say as you push your glasses up by nudging your face against his knee.

"Where did," Karkat starts, his voice strained.

Smugness settles over you. "Where did I learn that? Well, a man's gotta be well-researched, you know--"

The bastard knees you in the fucking nose. It doesn't break but it hurts like a motherfucker, what the fuck, you might be all wrapped up in this hate thing but you just fucking blew him and this is the thanks you get? You shove his legs off of your shoulders and let him sprawl as you check your nose for damage.

Karkat doesn't look pissed so much as baffled and faintly disgusted, though. "No, fuckface, where did--"

"Fuckface." You smirk. "You _did_."

He kicks out at you, this pathetic flail of one leg that misses by a mile, and tries to drag himself back onto the sofa. Annoyance has joined the bafflement and disgust, and he finally manages to get out, "Where did it all _go_?"

You just stare at him. Is he simple? Did you crack his fragile little skull when you were shoving each other around?

He makes an impatient hand gesture and says, "Didn't-- You didn't have a bucket. Where did it. When I."

Your guts twist unpleasantly and you go still. "I swallowed it."

Karkat goes red -- really red, like a flashfire across his face. " _How_."

You tense in embarrassment. "Is that not something you--"

"No, shut up. Physically, _how_ could you do that?"

You keep staring. What does he mean, how could you do that physically? It was like two tablespoons, not buckets worth or somethi-- "Oh," you say, a whole new level of mortifying and twistedly hot awareness dawning for you.

"Is it diff--"

"Is that what the buckets are for."

"Yes, this is what the fucking buckets are for," he says exasperatedly.

You just. Your guts are in freefall and everything below your waist is suddenly acutely unfamiliar. "Do you _have_ a--"

This _look_ flashes across his face, like all the smug you've ever felt in your entire life has just transferred to him. He hauls you close by one of your horns and cups your crotch and oh _fuck_ there are things happening down there that you don't want to think about even as you're don't want him to ever stop touching you. "Yeah," he breathes. "I'll show you how it's done."

You start squirming away. "N-no, no, that's cool, freaky xeno show-and-tell is over for the, the, oh _fuck_ ," you groan, your halfhearted escape coming to an abrupt end as Karkat squeezes your crotch. You sprawl, panting, and he slides off the couch and starts opening your jeans. You _stare_ as whatever it is under your briefs writhes upward into his touch of its own accord. Some distant part of you is glad you still have a dick, even as the rest is having trouble processing that 'trouser snake' is now a far more apt euphemism than it ever was before.

Karkat fucking petsit, a firm, smooth stroke down to its base, and your hips shudder upward without your sayso. "No, seriously, fuck off," you growl. It's a satisfying growl, would scare away tougher men than him -- but then you remember he _is_ still a troll under his you-colored human form, and he knows the undertones to it you didn't intend.

"I thought the expression was 'jack off'," he says, stroking your crotch tentacle again. It writhes under his touch like an excited puppy and you bite back a groan.

"The expression is I can take care of my own weird alien j-junk thank you very _fucking--_ " Your hips jerk because now he's rubbing between your legs, where your balls and taint should be, where you're now wet and aching and desperately want him inside you holy _fuck_ how did you even fucking think that?

"The expression is that you aren't licensed to operate these parts, you stubborn sack of shit, so in the spirit of _interspecies experimentation_ I'm going to give you a lesson." Karkat squeezes your tentadick and you shudder all over. "Relax, Dave. I'll take _care_ of you."

You don't like the way he says it precisely because it sends a jolt of get-inside-me through your crotch. You're not supposed to feel that, not _there_ , not _you_ , you're the one who's supposed to be doing the fucking -- but here you are, panting and spreading your legs just because he's giving you a knowing look while he rubs your crotch.

"Is that a yes?"

"Jesus christing fuck Karkat, what does it look like," you gasp as you rock yourself into his hand. "Of course it's a yes, it's a hell fucking yes, it's a get me off because I swear to god my dick is going to explode if you don't do it in the next ten seconds--"

"Slut," Karkat says with unbearable amounts of cheer, and you go dizzy and hot from shame. "C'mon, lift your ass."

You do even though you don't want your pants to come off because you don't want to look at your weird alien junk but you're desperate to have _some_ part of him shoved up inside of you. You want to hate that feeling, but what you really hate is how eagerly you kick off your pants and underwear and how much you more you want Karkat to fuck you as he looks at you with the same sort of hungry expression you gave him.

Karkat runs his hands over your hips and down the inside of your thighs, and you try not to watch, even as you spread your legs. He strokes the base of your tentadick with his thumb before he runs it down your, your... your _slit,_ fucking hell that's wrong, wrong even as you snarl desperately for more.

"Oh my god, you're _sopping_." You snarl again, helplessly, and he just snickers. "I'd better get the pail under you before you leak all over the floor." He slaps your thigh. "Flip over."

Your heart skip-thumps and you stare at him in challenge, but Karkat keeps smirking and stroking your slit, and _fucking hell_ you're about two seconds from your snarl turning into a whine. You clench your jaw against the sound for long enough to plant your foot against his chest and shove. He goes toppling backward with a blurted swear and you laugh as you get to your knees.

What composure that stunt gained you evaporates as you turn around and settle forward onto your hands. You clench your jaw again against the stream of nervous chatter your brain starts up with, _you trolls are real animals always doing it doggy style, or wait you had a different word for them didn't you, you'd call it barkbeast style, but I sure as hell don't know any dogs that'd jizz into buckets, man, that's fucked up,_ and you're concentrating so hard on keeping that back you don't notice Karkat has recovered until he's pulling your hips upward.

"Ass in the air, Dave," Karkat says, and when you fail to comply he shoves your head down. You snarl and try to buck him off, a show of anger that ends abruptly as he runs his fingers up your slit. Holy shit holy shit holy shit you need that you need him, you burrow your face in your arms as you lift your ass high, and groan despairingly when he doesn't shove his fingers into you.

Something smooth and cold pushes between your legs -- Karkat's bucket, it has to be, as fucking ridiculous as the concept is. For a moment you just feel cold and weird -- a _bucket_ \-- but that all vanishes as his fingers return, stroking and teasing, and you blurt, "What the hell is wrong with you you sawed off asshole, FUCK ME ALREADY--"

Karkat thrusts his fingers into you and you gasp the most embarrassing noise you've _ever_ made. It's almost creepy having his fingers _inside of you_ and almost too much, jesus, did he stick his entire fist in there? A few thrusts later you decide that no, it's not too much, it's almost not enough, why are his fingers so fucking stubby when you need him deeper, " _Deeper_ , god damn it Vantas--"

He slaps your ass hard enough to sting. "Stop fucking wriggling and maybe-- I-- CAN--!"

You cry out at that last thrust as it finally, finally gets close to where you want him. Karkat takes the hint and keeps slamming his fingers into you, and oh jesus fuck it feels bizarre and s _o fucking good_. You're more molten than ever, a heavy heat all through your lower abdomen and a thick pressure that's making your thrashing tentadick stiffen and throb, but it's not enough, _it's not enough_ , and you want to die because you're not sure you can take much more. "Jesus shitting dicknipple christ Karkat you fuck like a turtle can't you go any f-faster _a-a-aah_ fucking HELL--"

"Nope," Karkat gasps as he reaches between your legs with his free hand, "but I don't have to--"

He fists your sloppy wet tentadick and he doesn't jerk it so much as stroke and squeeze it, what the fuck, but do you care? Like hell you do, you're panting and moaning like you're dying and that pressure is too much, it's _too much_ \-- and you're an earthquake Richter 9.9, shaking and screaming as that pressure rolls through you and you empty yourself out in torrential bursts with every jerk of your hips.

You shudder all through Karkat wringing the last little bit out of you and then slump, empty of thoughts, empty of his fingers, empty of everything. You're dimly aware of him cursing and yanking the bucket out from between your legs, and with it gone you let yourself collapse in slow motion, a disaster area with no survivors.

"Strider. Strider." Karkat pokes at you, but you don't deign to open your eyes. "Dave. I didn't kill you, did I?"

"'Fraid to report that you did," you mumble, your words a worse slur of syllables than ever. "Fucked to _la petite mort_ , but calm your tits, I'll get better. Nnh." You force your eyes open and realize your shades have fallen off. You don't particularly care. "How the hell do you guys manage wanking if you jizz out half your bodily fluids every time you have an orgasm?"

"There are ways around that." Karkat starts sliding your shades back onto your face. It's almost sweet, until he jams them the rest of the way on at the end.

"Argh, fuck--" You swat his hand away and clumsily adjust your shades. "There are ways around it and you made me ejaculate into a bucket."

"You're the one who was all gung ho for interpecies experimentation," Karkat says, and drops your underwear onto your face. They're soaked and reeking of sex, god damn it. He laughs as you claw them away with a disgusted noise. "I was just obliging you! Come on, you have to admit that sure was some science we just did."

"Hahaha, right on. You're a top lab rat, A plus, would perform sexy experiments on again."  


End file.
